i was hoping i would go blind
so i would never see again
that we are all so wrong
about the reason we give for why we live

i was hoping i would go deaf
so i would never hear again
the reasons i heard my mother say
for why she knew i should never kill

i was hoping i would go dumb
so i would never speak again
and i could never put myself
in these subtle awkward positions again

ive never been more embarrassed
ever in my life
than when i put myself in here
in this subtle awkward position