Just Let Go: The Dark Years 1986 - 1990
June 21, 1992; 5:05 am
The dark years is finally completed, i can lose this chapter of my life. i almost cracked for real in this one. every cd i recorded takes me closer and closer to the edge of sanity, yet i learn something deeper about myself on every song recorded. each new cd opens wounds that have been hidden for years and years, it is as thought i must bleed myself to heal myself ... i must instruct those around me to watch me closely when the next shock therapy rojects begins. there is a fine line between gross indulgent spiritual exploration and mollifying suicidal self-destruction. i am at a delicate period of my life, it seems that i am waking from a six year binge on every and any chemical and psychologhical drug available to me. the songs and albums from the dark year period (1985-1990) are a fine example of the fear i am now readily able to face: the fear of life in 1990 i found myself facing the fear and embracing the unknown. 1992 finds me beginning to love life as i never thought possible. but i still scare the living shit out of myself every morning when i lookl into the mirror. i am on the path, i have found the way, but i am still a long long way from immortality. as for my comrades in arms : there have been many configurations of shock therapy over the years, each had its own personality and modus operandi. many members have come and gone and come again in what has been affectionately dubbed the shock therapy revolving door. no one person has experienced that door more than keith jackson. although in outward appearances from the truth. his contributions were few and far between, his loyality as good as his world : null. bill mcneill and tex have always been good friends to me; their support, understanding and tolerance of me over the years has been inestimable and highly appreciated. ex-keybordist tom buckley is a good friend who helped start the band back in 84; his yen for self-indulgence led to his eventual exit. the drug-death of original shock therapy drummer bill shepherd left a gap unfilled until phillip adenacker joined in 1987. two years later he quit due to heart trouble. i was lucky enough to there after meet cliff hill, a fine drummer and now good friend. joseph loppo santori the second joined in 1990, bringing wirth him the circus and the ever-watchful eyes of the s.i.k. loppo helped me realize that whatever i cannot do or say due to some phoney manufactured morality system can easily be accomplish with the right amount of pancake make-up. thanks to onyx for his studio expertise. anton simper is latest edition to s.t., he plays everything, is a good friend and fabolous tai chi chuan teacher. to my wife denise : i love you more than you know, and certainly more than i show. special thanks to dustin for grinning and bearing. my personal thanks to my sensei, master robert white.
Hello : pierre, dirk, horst, frank, sondra, damon, sven, silmarillon, gary gygax, and especially manfred.
Your friend and comrade: ITCHY