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Santas Little Helper: Rarities, Oddities & Festive Disease
Written By
Itchy WC


Santas Little Helper: Rarities, Oddities & Festive Disease

Oh my god! this is the first release from those record company bastards who stole my name. im gonna fuck them sideways and feed them to my playful pirhanna fish for unlawful theft from a clown, but only after i profusely thank them and feed them a delicious dinner of nine-year old girlie nipples in goats blood gravy. thats one of my favorites!

Oohh! har ahrdhhdo&*bnfi [90 ??? i dont want any goddamned jack-off in this world thinking i am greatful ... for instance i always gift my little victims with a mouthful of joy-juice whenever they get my love-shaft crammed into their mouths.

Yum-yum! so this fucking punk-techno-alternative band (?) called shock therapy has released yet another album of sick music that would surely titillate retarded teenagers to no end. the blast on christianity, jesus, god, santa claus, families, relationship, and personal friendship are really nice if you sleep in your house all day and only get up at night to record alone in a cold, beer-soaked, insect-laden cellar on detroits west side. i am aware that this is the life that the leader of the band, mr. itchy wiggle christ, has been leading as of late.

Rumor has it that peter field, head of psycho clown unlimited, had to fly over from germany and pull itchy out of this two-week cough-syrup binge to get this cd out in time for christmas.

Of course it is only a rumor, itchy could have been buffing spray paint again ... feel free to beatthe hell out of your dog or rape your grandmother while you listen to this cd (you girl clowns can rape the old cunt too, go buy yourself a strap-on dildo).

You will surely have some strange feelings bubble out from beneath the false exteriors you have built up overf all these years. its okay to admit your weakness, people normally will step out of a room before they laugh at you ... but not me, im a happy clown.

Ill laugh right in your ugly unpainted face while i cut out your pancreas to feed to my airedale terrier johann for supper. hahaahahahhhahaahaa!!!

So, turn down the lights, strip out your clothes, get out your favorite lubrication jelly, and play your new shock therapy album so loud that it really pisses off your neighbors. when they complain it will give you ample reason to comb their hair with buckshot, just like "lucky" kurt colbain did to his bad-ass self.

Remember: children respond favorably to bright colors!

Love you all (eventually), your friendly childrens clown

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